I am so tired right now. I've been up for 30 hours now, and I'm not that physically exhausted, just more so mentally tired. But I am definitely feeding of the jubilation I feel after turning in my final paper in my HIST 4910 US & Middle East history class. I stayed up all night working on it and finished it after nailing out a final exam in my religion class. Now all that awaits is my math final tomorrow morning which either way I am destined to get a "B" on. I have to do some extra credit work in order to maybe swoop in for a B+/A- but I am doubtful on any real progress made from this extra credit. History class was semi interesting today because we talked about the last 8 years of foreign policy in the Middle East and the Global War on Terror. Which leads me into my next section.
Guilt
I was sitting there, half conscious -- fully awake, but half conscious really. Which basically meant I was incredibly susceptible to all the childish things being said around the room. These people (who are history majors) are the majority of mainstream society. They have not seen their friends suffer at the perils of a rarely seen enemy. Nor have they witnessed the atrocities we commit unto others in the name of a flag. Yet this one guy in class has the audacity to claim that politicians shouldn't restrict soldiers to the rules of Geneva convention. I tell you this, as a veteran -- thank goodness for those rules. This jerk sat there and claimed that America did not have a capacity to "do what needed to be done" and at the sametime disapproved of neo-conservative ideologies. What a hypocrite! This is the perfect example of backwards American talk about how bad politicians are and how good our soldiers shouldn't be. Yet he doesn't know what its like to have to control a roving band of murderers whose job it is to wipe out people regardless of combatant status. To know that this is what they joined for to do. To feel like you can't wait to do it. And after you do, everyone thinks your cool. And more importantly, you feel important. I remember times when we denied aid to dying people and their children to "teach them a lesson" not to mess with us. To see their faces brings back nothing but a sting of guilt. Not because I felt bad for them and didn't do anything, but because I felt happy for us. I remember being so smug knowing that even though we may lose one dude, they'll lose countless men, women, children, arms, legs, etc.. I remember so many horrifying things, and then this guy who can sit there and talk about how he disapproves of this and disapproves of that but yet wouldn't stick his neck out for anything throw his weight behind the necessities of things like My Lai. Give me a friggin break.
I sat there in the class, just speechless. Another veteran piped up about how he thought him and his buddies were going somewhere so others wouldn't have to. You know what that is? A fucking POG! Probably a reservist POG atop of that. A guy who hasn't seen a shot fired and sits there and makes patriotic picture movies about his deployment inside the wire. He hasn't seen the faces of those who have to live their lives under the gun. He hasn't been called a liar by a woman in her own language or seen the faces of hate for all their sons lost to artillery, machine guns, and JDAMS. He hasn't seen a 10 year old blind kid who your friends shot up because their car wouldn't stop. He hasn't consented to the execution of people for the sake of so called progress. Fucking POG.
And then of course, a WOMAN, of all people, pipes up about her air force deployment to some secure base and talked about her experiences. What the fuck is that? Her idea of being outside of the wire is the drive from one compound to another so she can look at radio equipment and flirt with SNCO's. What the hell do these people know about street politics, gangland society, and the business of war. What do they know about hatred, distrust, and life where suicide seems like a great idea.
Somebody had the nerve to get on war profiteering and KBR. I have showered in KBR facilities twice and it was like heaven. I have eaten in their chow halls 5 times, and it was like heaven. And they want to tell me it's bad that somebody is getting rich off of that? Please. They have not spent one day going through trash in the search of decent packet jalapeno cheese or peanut butter. They haven't shot a goat or a cow based on need. Nor would they know what its like to give what little you have left to your buddy because you feel sorry hes hungry and didn't pack enough for himself. They wouldn't know about water, food, or cigarette rationing in the face of administrative supply errors. They wouldn't know about stealing to get by from people who can't get by as it is.
Yet they all had something to say.
I still couldn't believe that civilians were advocating on behalf of removing the Geneva convention. It's the only thing we got people. If we wanted to be Russia we could. If we authorized rape and pillaging to our troops, they would. But we don't. Why? Because we're better than that. And those who can't hold to it are the criminals. And I feel like a fucking criminal somedays. I think of all the things I've done that I can't speak of, all the things I've watched and should've spoke about, and all the things people speak of and know nothing about... Man, the shit really drives me nuts!
And I'm done with this rant. God bless America. If people didn't have the right to talk about what they didn't know, I guess we'd have no Americans to satisfy our stereotype overseas.
Other than that, I am pretty tired and now a little wound up.
I could never really know what it is like to have been in your shoes through your wartime experiences. I can at least relate it to how violence corrupts in general systemically. It would be pretty insane if people in America just started doing similar practices to people in America just because politicians don't recognize such acts as torture. Yet if it's a foreigner, a person suddenly becomes less human, especially for the sake of national security.
Rather than putting the burden of responsibility on individual soldiers, leadership has an obligation to uphold such rules of the Geneva Convention as I don't know of any other universal rules in place that curtails the use of excessive force.
Comments (1)
I could never really know what it is like to have been in your shoes through your wartime experiences. I can at least relate it to how violence corrupts in general systemically. It would be pretty insane if people in America just started doing similar practices to people in America just because politicians don't recognize such acts as torture. Yet if it's a foreigner, a person suddenly becomes less human, especially for the sake of national security.
Rather than putting the burden of responsibility on individual soldiers, leadership has an obligation to uphold such rules of the Geneva Convention as I don't know of any other universal rules in place that curtails the use of excessive force.